Can't get enough Hashem

The Bat Mitzvah

The rabbi dragged me to Cleveland to help with the Bat Mitzvah of Sarah Russo. Sarah was one of the original Tot Shabbaters. She came to Tot Shabbat religiously--well, I guess that is what you are supposed to do. Get it? Eh, didn't thinks so. That was one of the rabbi's jokes. I shouldn't have tried to steal it from him.

Anyway, Sarah new my theme song. Hashem is Here! Well, she and I bonded right away. First of all, I complimented her on her amazing oil painting! She is awesome. I am hoping one day she will paint my portrait. She complimented me on my monsterness and asked the rabbi if she could queeze me while she read the Torah. Sure enough, just like the pillsbury doughboy she squeezed me as her beautiful voice chanted the portion. Then I was up tehre for the d'var and boy was she good.

Her sister Julia was also fun to hang out with because she likes Kelly Clarkson as well. She couldn't believe that in Gehenna they play Kelly all the time.

Gary and Faith threw an awesome party, but who were thise crazy relatives??? Wow, who thought they would be the sane ones in their clan.

Do these stripes make me look fat?

Wish you had been with us! We had lots of fun even with all the close calls. I mean even think about that deer makes me cowardly yellow.

All God's Critters Sing in the Choir

Do you think that cow is the Austin Powers of cows? Look at that Shagadelic hair. Moo, baby moo! Yeah!

Animal Crackers

These are some more of my four legged friends (well, the ostrich only has 2!)

Feeding the Animals and Hashem looks for a handbag

Ok! Whose smart idea was this??? Only a knucklehead like the rabbi would choose to leave Hawaii (which I have so many more stories to tell you about) to the blizzard capitol of 2007. Denver. The rabbi told me that it doesn't snow that much in the actual city. He said the snow storms empty in the mountains not in the valley. He said that it usually melts in a day or two tops! Well he was wrong.

We are so cold! Thank goodness for the blanket you guys made for us! The poor rabbi keeps getting his car stuck and even though I look deceptively strong and muscular, I have not been able to push the car out and the rabbi won't let me use his keys so he can push. Can you believe he won't trust me with his car?! I am a good driver, I promise.

Anyways, I started feeling sorry for the rabbi but then I thought this might be just desserts for the drive we took to get here. We stopped at an Alligator and Exotic Animal zoo in Louisiana. I wanted to see an alligator and check out the other critters. When we entered, I saw this camel and I remember camels back in death valley. I told the reb that I was the star camel fighter in Death Valley, Gehenna. Get me in the ring any day! I'll show that camel. The rabbi just laughed at me and so I had to prove it and well, I lost a bit of my dignity. He was actually gonna let that vicious camel take a bite! Then he put me at the mercy of the most ferocious animal in the whole zoo! You guessed it! Bambi, the deer. Let me tell you, she is a mean one. A fighter with moxy! Luckily, I played dead like the opossums taught me and she left me alone. Phew.

But luckily the ostrich and her baby, stood up for me and pecked the rabbi on the head. Both of them--while he was taking pictures. Ouch! And how embarrassing. I couldn't help but laugh at the rabbi.

At the end, I got to ride an alligator and show him whose boss! I told the rabbi to take him home, I needed a new handbag.

I'm a delicate flower

So when I got to Hawaii, the reb and I was picked up by Brian who had leis for us. Flowers twisted into necklaces. How much fun was that. I certainly hoped they tasted good.

This way I didn't have to make time to stop and smell the flowers. All I had to do was bend my neck and sniff away. Wearing a lei tickles!

One time I forgot I was sporting my cool lookin flowers and I screamed! I thought it was a snake ready to eat me. Phew!

HERE IS HOW YOU CAN MAKE YOUR OWN LEIS!!! (You can substitiute other flowers too)

Neck, head, wrist, and ankle leis are simple to make using loose orchids. Below are step by step instructions so you can create your own basic beautiful fresh orchid leis!
To make your own fresh leis you will need:loose orchids, needle, string
For neck leis use 90" of string and about 50 loose orchids.
For head leis take the head measurement and add 8". Then double that for the length of the string and use about 25 loose orchids.
For wrist/ankle leis use 16" of string and about 10-15 loose orchids.
Remove the stems from the orchids.
Fold the string in the middle so there is an even amount on either side. Hook lei string onto lei needle in the middle.
Hold the needle close to the sharp end and stick needle through the orchid throat and out through the butt end of orchid.
Pull the orchid onto the needle and repeat the process.
Slide the orchids down the needle as you add them. This allows you to maintain control of the lei needle and arrange the orchids.
Once you have several orchids arranged on the lei needle then slide the group of orchids down onto the lei string.
Continue to string the flowers until there is about 2 inches on each end to tie the lei. Neck leis can be tied closed once completed. Head, wrist, and ankle leis should be tied at the time they are going to be worn. Once your lei is complete proudly wear your fresh flower lei or give it to your sweetie!Lei Making Instructions are Courtesy of alohafriends.com

It has been so nice to have another person around! Being stuck with rabbiman was driving me crazy. If I had to hear another story about some Hasidic rabbi or asked to meditate I was gonna take my lei and tie it around his neck. Brian is lots of fun. On my first day in Hawaii he took me surfing. Hang 10! Shaka bra, dude! Because I dont really have fingers I can't make the hang ten symbol, but you can. Make a fist and lift up your thumb and pinkie while keeping the rest of your fingers down. Wow, they are gonna really like you in Hawaii.

I know you must be saying why the positive attitiude Hashem? Well, how can you feel under the palm trees or amongst the pineapples?!

Breaking down and joining the gym

I was such a pig at T-day that the rabbi rudely reminded me that I was coming with him to Hawaii. But he had a point afterall I bought special bikini bottoms for the occasion and I didn't think they'd even fit.

So I went on down to Urban Body where the rabbi works out and met the friendly staff. But even friendlier were all those candy bars behind them. I munched down on one and I spit it out...those bars weren't candy--they were healthy cardboard stuff. Who knows how the reb eats them? Anyway, they made me take a picture for the computer. Do you like my gym ID picture? I think I am very handsome and photogenic. Though the rabbi begged me to smile. I did show a little teeth.

Uggh just taking the picture made me tired. Can I go home now? It is hard work being a glamorous dybbuk.

T-Day again but in the cabin

The Reb took me up to his Dad's mountain cabin for yet another T-day feast the next day. I passed out on the couch from so much pumpkin pie.

I found some friends at the cabin while the r-man was hiking with his friend Allen. I also found a great place to do some thinking. Every time I had a genius idea, a lightbulb went on. How about that?

It was nice to be in the mountains, but I knew in a few days that I would have a whole island to wreak my havoc. Oahu, one of the Hawaiian Islands. Unfortunately, I left my ukelele in Gehenna where they make all the cheesy instruments go when the break.

More Thankstaking photos

Mmmm that was good cake. But why would anyone put a carrot in a cake. Carrots ruin perfectly good sugar!

ThanksTaking

Ok so I procrastinate (that means I don't do things right away even when I am supposed--like you cleaning your room or doing that science project! so don't get on my case). But I want to tell you about Thanksgiving--well for me I like Thankstaking. It is like Thanks, I'll take some more turkey, yep thanks I'll take some more stuffing, yep I'll take some more fisheye, gummybear, pickle salad---what you don't eat that for Thanksgiving. Well, it's a dybbuk's favorite dish. I even have my own spin that was featured on Paula Dean's cooking show (cuz I add a ton of butter to everything too) I use the sourpatch kids instead of the regular gummy bear. The sour matches the pickles. Yum!

Anyway the reb, had a bunch of people over who were way too polite. Please pass this and please pass that and sooo many thank yous. Manners, I tell you take too much time, especially when you are hungry. The reb yelled at me for getting to close to the food and then made me wait for people to do some kind of sharing ritual, which please why does everything have to be "meaningful", I swear. So then I get yelled at for eating the flowers, but hey what would you have done, I was hungry.

I am little but I have a BIG appetite. In fact as you will see I had to go up a dress size.

BURP! Yep, still burping from the big feast back in Nov. Gonna check u later I am gonna wash down this alka seltzer with a box of CrunchBerry cereal.